I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
