like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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