just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i came on her dog
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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