dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He has the fingertips of a God
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