fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
