I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
