who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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