Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
