is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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