It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
