I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
