like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
