So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
