She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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