Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
