I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
