Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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