is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
