His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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