Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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