So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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