You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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