I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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