Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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