I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
