So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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