I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
