Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
