Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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