Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
