Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
True strength comes from lack of pants
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
