Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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