You made me cry and you don't even care
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
