He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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