I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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