forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
