my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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