just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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