He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
