Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
please come you make the beer taste better
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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