my mouth tastes like poor choices
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
