so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
