Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Found the puke drawer
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
