new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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