I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
