My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize