...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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