My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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