Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
