You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
