I just saw a hot homeless man
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
