Welp...herpes.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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