theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize