But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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