By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We were destined to go to rehab together
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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