I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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