Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
