No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
