3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think my moral compass just broke
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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