I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
