garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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