Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
