It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
