just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
