better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
