People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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