I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
