i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
