Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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