who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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