Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Found the puke drawer
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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