we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize