I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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