I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
