so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize