I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think pants incapable of making pants work
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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