Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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