Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
