ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
