worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
