After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
