just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
where are my eyebrows?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
