My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
