It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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