There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
